"I'm the missing prince from the neighbouring kingdom..."

On Tuesday, I was visited by the ever-wonderful Courtney, and we went to Cold Rock and had good ice cream, before listening to awesome music and generally having fun. Hey, Courtney! Hope you had a good time too!

Tuesday evening was the traditional movie night, so off we went to Marion. Most of us saw Howl's Moving Castle, which was, in a word, odd. Best bits include anything to do with Turniphead, the bouncing scarecrow, as well as Hien, the weird dog thing.
Best lines:
"I'm the missing prince from the neighbouring kingdom..."
"There's no point living if I can't be beautiful!"
"You're very kind, even though you're my least favourite vegetable!"

The previous night (being Monday, for people not familiar with the concept of linear time), lots of us went to Charltons. As always pool was good. BUT there were some interesting moments.
-The tables clearly state CHALLENGE TABLE AFTER 7PM on each of them. So after we claimed three tables, a group came up and told Shaun and Ali to give up their table so they could play. Of course, Shaun said they needed to challenge. So they complained. The woman working at the bar told us that these were challenge tables, and therefore we had to give up Shaun's table. This, of course, makes no sense at all.
-We were told that "From this week, there will be no backpacks in the pool hall." I believe this is discrimination. They allow girls to bring in handbags. Guys don't carry handbags, therefore a backpack is the obvious choice. Besides, what on Earth could we possibly do with a backpack?!
-As per usual, we put challenge tokens on the tables to signify when we were putting down a challenge. We were told off for this too, as there were "heaps of people sitting at the barrels waiting to play, and they see a queue, and they don't want to." We were also told "play properly or don't play at all." This seemed odd to us; how do you keep track of who's put down a challenge and who is next? Regardless, we removed our queue of tokens, and were promptly mobbed by...zero challengers. Well done, CharltonsBarGuy, you really are a penis.

After this, I started a betting pool as to what they'd complain about next. Possibilities include:
-JAmes likes Jamiroquai. They don't like his taste in music. Get out.
-We use cues to play pool. Get out.
-Ali was wearing socks. Get out.
...and the list goes on...

And now, listening to my two new cds from Courtney, as well as Jamie Cullum's new album, I bid thee farewell.

How Raf went really really far away, came back and had a pimp stick

Well, actually, this post isn't exactly about that. But certainly to some extent it is...

Right, first a problem of contradictions. This contradiction we shall call Patrick Coleman. You see, Patrick is a MegaGenius Mk.VI. Here is a photo of the MegaGenius, seen here at right. The man on the left is an overweight grinning idiot. Or Bodie. Bodie being me. Sigh.

Give him 40 seconds, and he'll calculate the probability of finding a van Ryswyk other than Ron, who does Computer Science. Which, incidentally, Pat has done.
Pat recently took on the Asia-Pacific region in programming, and won convincingly, but for an Auckland team, who, being from New Zealand, programmed a SheepSexBot, which impressed the judges. Maybe.
Okay, here's the dilemma...being so bloody intelligent, Patrick should be the brainy one who saves the day with technical know-how. Right?
So, he's basically Dex, from Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow.

^Dex.

This would be helpful, as if he did something useful, like destroy the supermart and win programming comps, we could say things like "Good boy, Dex", like Sky Captain does. But thar lies the contradiction.
Paddy is also a natural leader. He's good at freaking everything. He captained the First XI soccer team and the Badminton squad, and he leads from the front. So he's actually more like Sky Captain.

^Sky Captain.

But this is bad! Firstly, you can't say "Good boy, Sky Captain." It doesn't sound right. Secondly, I'm the aviation enthusiast! If anyone should be Sky Captain it should be me! *Declares war*

But here's to Paddy, a genuine champ.

Okay, so here we go...

Thursday night, I stayed over at Kelly's house, and we watched some movies, including:

• The Pink Panther, starring Peter Sellers and David Niven: "What kind of candle is zis?!"
• Stripes, with Bill Murray and John Candy:
  RUSSELL: "You could join a monastery."
  JOHN: "Did you ever see a monk get wildly fucked by some teenage girls?"
  RUSSELL: "No."
  JOHN: "So much for the monastery."
• The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, with Martin Freeman and Zooey Deschanel: "In the beginning the universe was created. This made a lot of people angry and has widely been considered as a bad move..."
• The Pink Panther Strikes Again, with Peter Sellers and Herbert Lom: "Hello?... Yes. There is a beautiful woman in my bed, and a dead man in my bath..."

Ahh, classic movies, all of them. HILARIOUS.
In the midst of this movie-watching, we ate pizza, then Raf came over and he and I played pool while he talked about his theory that the only reason guys get into trouble is because girls are horny. This got Kelly quite befuddled.

Kelly discovered in the morning that I am not a MorningPerson. This means I was supremely difficult to awaken. Once on my feet, we motored to the residence of Monsieur Matthew Kelly, whom we thusly transported, along with ourselves and Kelly's car, to Mercedes College. Why? Because the esteemed Raf was to perform with his Mimili-type troupe of TalentedPeople(tm). Raf himself was a hit and a bit, with his performance to the tune of Michael Jackson's Billie Jean. And don't the kids love him...or is that the problem? =P
Afterwards, and upon hello-ing Caitlin's cool brother Angus, we next congregated at the Waite Oval, where we played soccer. When rugby began, I went with Ron to take shots at him. My accuracy was poor at best. After that, Kel and EmO and I went up into the Waite Arboretum, which was cool as. Kelly messaged EmO's boyfriend Matt to tell him that she and Em were having hot passionate lesbian sex. As I am rather male, it is safe to assume I was not taking part in said lesbian orgy, but in that case, what was I doing? Taking photos with Em's new phone, perhaps...
Barely had the supposed orgy finished, when we found ourselves confronted by Ali and Mia and Peanut, who had escaped to have an orgy of their own! We left them to it...

In the evening, we played indoor soccer, but suffered a crushing defeat, our fourth in a row. There's talk of Stevo and Ron retiring...this could well be the final hurrah for the illustrious Blue Devils...

Message from Kelly:
Everybody everybody everybody living now
Everybody everybody everybody fucks.
Everybody everybody everybody living now
Everybody everybody everybody sucks.
Everybody everybody everybody living now
Everybody everybody everybody cries.
Everybody everybody everybody living now
Everybody everybody everybody dies...

...Ah, System of a Down's Violent Pornography. Awesome song.

Even more awesome things:
-Courtney, Kel, Pat and all my other mates.
-Baileys.
-Franz Ferdinand have a new album!
-My cats.
-Malteasers.
-Starbursts.

And that's a fact, Jack.

Spring chicken to shitehawk in one easy lesson

I just realised why it's so unbelievable that I only recently got the movie Battle of Britain from Andy, and I only recently found my copy of European Air War. Wow, I've been slow! September marks the anniversary of the greatest phase of the most famous air campaign known to man: the Battle of Britain.
Between July and October 1940, the Royal Air Force faced incredible odds and the might of the German Luftwaffe. If they failed in their duty, Britain would have fallen to a German invasion.
15 September was the anniversary of Battle of Britain Day, the greatest single day of aerial combat in the entire campaign. Well, I missed that, but I'm going to make up for it. Have a history lesson...and if it bores you, your problem, not mine!

The Most Important Men in the Battle of Britain
Naturally, the pilots on both sides were the most important figures in the Battle, as they fought and died for their countries. But I'm going to focus on three individuals in particular, all three from the Royal Air Force.

Air Chief Marshal Sir Hugh C. T. Dowding

Dowding was in charge of Fighter Command of the Royal Air Force. He's looks rather humourless, and he was, which earned him the nickname "Stuffy", but in actual fact he was a genuine chap. And he was English, which meant that he called people "chaps" in real life. Probably.
But Dowding was more than just a chap. He was a strategic genius. He told Churchill during the Battle of France that Britain could not afford to send one more fighter over to France, because the struggle for that country was lost, and if the resources of the RAF were continually drained, Britain herself would also be defeated. He understood the odds his pilots were facing; at a meeting with the Air Minister, the exasperated politician shouted "Damn it, man! We have nearly 650 planes!". Dowding looked at him nonchalantly and said "And they have 2,600 aircraft...but the essential arithmetic is that our young men will have to shoot down their young men at the rate of four to one, if we're to keep pace at all."
Dowding's tactic of using the new radar to detect approaching formations, the Observer Corps to watch them as they crossed the coast, and then single squadrons to engage the enemy, kept Fighter Command casualties down, and without this, the Battle would have been lost.

Air Vice Marshal Sir Keith Park

Park was a New Zealander, in charge of 11 Group, the squadrons focused on England's south-east and around London. He was a keen supporter of Dowding, and knew that it was more important to protect the RAF's airfields than protect London, because without those airfields the RAF was useless. A stickler for the rules, he insisted that the squadrons on the coast should be able to have all 16 planes in the air just two minutes after the pilots were ordered to scramble, and viewed the average time of 6 minutes as wholly unacceptable. It could justifiably be claimed that Park and Dowding together put down the framework that won the Battle of Britain. Whether New Zealander Park liked fush and chups is unknown.

Air Vice Marshal Sir Trafford Leigh-Mallory

Keith Park was liked by the pilots and by Dowding. Trafford Leigh-Mallory was not. The British fighter ace Ginger Lacey once claimed that "Leigh-Mallory was a clot", and it is obvious to see why. Look at him. Humourless git. Cut his moustache and you'd see Hitler. Almost.
But seriously, Leigh-Mallory was not a very good tactician. He commanded 12 Group, north of London, and insisted on using a tactic known as the "Big Wing", where many squadrons would try and attack German bombers en masse after they'd hit their targets. Which was a fine idea if the Big Wing could find the Germans. Usually, they didn't. Leigh-Mallory's 12 Group was tasked with protecting Park's airfields. The airfields got pasted. Park did not like Leigh-Mallory.

The Most Important Machines of the Battle of Britain
What story about the Battle of Britain would be complete without the aircraft?

Supermarine Spitfire Mk.I

The most famous aircraft ever, the Spitfire proved itself beyond a shadow of a doubt during the Battle. Afterwards, it claimed all the credit for Britain's victory, too. If you ask anyone which plane won the Battle of Britain, they'll say "the Spitfire". In actual fact, Spitfires only accounted for just under one-third of Fighter Command's strength at the beginning of the Battle. But they were the fastest and best-armed fighters in the RAF inventory, capable of 355mph and with an armament of eight Browning 0.303in machine guns. They were also the most manoeuvrable fighter produced by either Britain or Germany. Spitfires would usually take on the dreaded Messerschmitt Bf-109 fighters, while their less glamorous counterparts, the Hurricanes, intercepted the Luftwaffe's bombers. Legend has it that Hermann Göring once asked Adolf Galland, Germany's best fighter ace, what would be needed for the Luftwaffe to win the Battle once and for all. Galland replied, "Give me a squadron of Spitfires."

Hawker Hurricane Mk.I

Not as beautiful, fast or manoeuvrable as the Spitfire, the Hurricane was still the most important aircraft for the RAF during the Battle of Britain. Also armed with eight Brownings, the Hurricane was deadly against the lumbering heavy bombers of the Luftwaffe, but also successful against the Messerschmitts, because it was still more manoeuvrable than the Bf-109. Hurricanes also differed from the Spitfire in that they were covered in Irish linen, which meant that they were far more serviceable than the Spitfire. The wooden airframe also made it more durable; on more than one occasion, Hurricane pilots used their wings to slice through the tails of enemy bombers and fighters alike, causing the destruction of the German plane but not of the Hurricane! In 1940 Hurricanes accounted for two-thirds of the RAF's fighter strength.

Boulton-Paul Defiant Mk.I

The Defiant played a very minor role in the Battle. The idea was to use it as a bomber-destroyer, capable of using the heavy machine guns in its turret to blast bombers out of the sky from any angle. In practice the gunner more often than not blew his own plane's tail to pieces. The Defiant was also easy meat for the Messerschmitts, and soon they were relegated to the role of night-fighter.

Messerschmitt Bf-109E

The most feared German fighter, achieving a legendary status second only to the Spitfire. The -109 was as fast as the Spitfire, and thus speedier than the Hurricane, but had a wider turning circle. The major disadvantage the -109 had was that it only had enough fuel for 30 minutes over England once it had crossed the Channel from France. This meant that the furthest it could fly was London before being forced to return to base. When that happened, the bombers were without protection. Adolf Galland scored some fifty kills during the Battle in his Bf-109.

Messerschmitt Bf-110C

The -110 was created as a long-range Zerstörer, a similar concept to the Defiant. Unfortunately for the Germans, the Bf-110, though an excellent aircraft, was too slow and unmanoeuvrable to have any chance against the RAF's Hurricanes and Spitfires, and this led to the ridiculous situation of Bf-110s, acting as escorts for bombers, themselves being escorted by Bf-109s! After the Battle, -110s would make a name for themselves as exceptional fighter-bombers and night-fighters, but during the Battle, they were toast.

Junkers Ju-87B Stuka

The infamous Stuka (short for Sturzkampfflugzeug) dive-bomber had made a name for itself in Poland and France as a terrifying machine, screaming through the clouds with an unearthly whine, before dropping bombs with pinpoint accuracy. When the Battle began, Stukas went up against the radar stations at Dover and Ventnor, putting them out of action. However, it was also during the Battle that they were shown to be vulnerable to the British fighters. One fighter pilot remarked that taking on unescorted Stukas was like "shooting rats in a barrel."

Heinkel He-111H

The principal Luftwaffe bomber, the He-111 was rugged and dependable, and proved adept at flattening London and Coventry, in particular. But like most of the Luftwaffe's bombers, it was adapted from a passenger plane, and was thus poorly designed for use in wartime. Its defensive armament proved woefully inadequate against British fighters.
The Heinkel captured British imagination for two reasons:
1. Because one of them crashed into the tracks at Victoria Station.
2. Because it was a German plane not called "Messerschmitt".

Here endeth today's history lesson.

"Red LightGreen Light!!"

Yesterday being Monday, it was the FreePoolSuperthon (no longer "marathon", as I don't know what a "mara" is and don't particularly want to). That said, I rolled bleary-eyed out of bed at 11:30 and realised I'd missed my bus.
Hurriedly showering and dressing, which meant locating pants, wallet and phone (until I also realised I was not wearing a shirt, socks or shoes, so I found them too), I eventually got to the UniBar at about 12:15, promptly going up to Rumours to get a baguette. When I came back down, lo and behold, Patrick had materialised, and we pooled for a long time. Kelly turned up to hand up her grand Philosophy essay, and Phil and Dangerous Tom came too, as did Illmo, who couldn't walk, and the elusive Shaun. I left at about 3, almost literally running into Jacob on the way out. An early finish? Yes. But, you see, that night we were all off to Charltons!

Charltons was brilliant. Kelly and I got there to find Ron and Brent, and soon Tom and Janelle and Stevo came along too. Ron and I played an awesome game of doubles against two random guys. Ron's ankle is doing better after the picnic, thank you very much. Check out the picnic tales at TheKOOLHut. I dare you.
Suddenly a grand cheer went up and the entire world began a ticker tape parade. Who had turned up? RAF!!! Amid cries of "Duuuuude, sup?", he proceeded to pool.
Tom and Janelle and Kelly and I meandered down to Hungry Jacks to get food, as Tom and I were starving, and Janelle, though not hungry, was too. Tom's world came crashing down when he realised he couldn't get two cheeseburgers for two dollars. He collapsed and convulsed in a snivelling heap, and the girl profoundly apologised for about 10 minutes. I shrugged and got a Whopper Junior Value Meal. In the meantime, NonHungryJanelle was enjoying her fries. I gave her more. They disappeared fast. Tom, drying his eyes, got two chicken baguettes, and Kelly believed that the chickens must have been rubber. I concurred.

On the way back to Charltons we ran into Matt Kelly and his mates, whose names escape me but one may have been Nick. He seemed pretty cool. Matt always is.
More pool followed. I randomly jumped the white for no good reason and Brent and I won many times. Kelly and Janelle played magnificently. They make a good pairing. But anyone who went to EmO's party would know that.
Raf and I went ExtremeHunting, but sucked because the sights were perfect. Damn. Still, I downed three mule deer with three shots. How handy.
Free pool wrapped up at 12, and soon just Kelly and Matt and Matt's friends and I were left at Charltons. We wandered to Shenanigans. Cool pub. I got a Heineken beer coaster. I am proud.
After everyone was ejected from Shenanigans, we all crammed into Nick's little car so we could hoon over to Kel's car, which was the other side of Marion. Kel perched precariously on my lap, we went for the slingshot effect around a roundabout. I tumbled out of the car when we got to Kelly's auto, and Matt offered an arse-grabbing hug, which I politely declined.

Not in the mood to go home, Kel and I decided to drive random places. Firstly, Glenelg. Then, as Glenelg was boring, we decided to go partway up the freeway. We took the turn-off to Mt Osmond and followed a contorting road that went nowhere.
Mt Osmond is stupid. Here's why:
Seaview Road: we're up in the hills. Also, from any part of Seaview Road, the thing closest to the sea that you can possibly observe is some guy's pool.
Oceanview Road: see above. But replace "pool" with "rainwater tank".
Mountainview Road: goes downhill, so you can't see Mt Osmond at all. Also, if there's a mountain after the end of Mountainview Road, you still can't see it, as there are impenetrable trees at the end.
Getting surprisingly lost, given our joint navigational prowess, we followed a windier road down the hill. We wondered where we would end up. Bets included Melbourne, Ballarat, Maitland and Tahiti. But we were both wrong, we ended up at Beaumont.
We saw a koala! Waddling across the road! We stopped in the middle of a roundabout to watch it! How exciting.
Then, more detours followed. First, Heatherbank Terrace, because that's where my best friend from Year 3-7, Josh, used to live. I reminisced about launching air-powered foam rockets from their front yard and roof across the road and into cyclists. Then Kel took me to see Caitlin's old house, which looked very very nice but was near a street that had a name sounding like that 'c word' all the girls don't like. That's right. Cute. No, that can't be right...

I eventually got home at 2:30 or thereabouts. But it seems my house has a KellyMagnet, because today she was back again, this time because I have lots of sources for History and she doesn't. History is due tomorrow. Kel has now finished her essay. I haven't.

A shout to Courtney: COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOURTNEY!!!
There we go.

What's new in the blown-up space I call my world?

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighty-ho...

For starters, there are some new links on the sidebar. The first is for Ali's blog, which took a many month sabbatical, but is now back in business and makes less sense than ever. Check it out here at www.alisyrup.blogdrive.com.
Another new blog is Lotte Moonshine's. Yes, I know, she had one a while back, called 1939 Returning, but that's now defunct. The new one is known as "the world loves us! and is our bitch!" I think it's catchy. Don't you?
One final new blog belongs to the lovely Courtney Jameson, of Courtney fame. "More like Courtney Fameson", I can almost hear JAmes saying, with a knowing smile and an "I-make-really-crap-puns" chuckle. She claims that she is a Courtney. I can imagine David Attenborough doing a documentary on this rare and aesthetically-pleasing species sometime soon..."Here we are, in Meadows, searching for a typical member of the species Courtneyis Jamesonia. We'll just see if anyone's about..." Anyhoo, this blog is situated in aforementioned Meadows, and We can see the sky from here (assume "we" to be Courtney, as she is royalty, and "here" to be Meadows, as it is where she is...)
One link that has sadly disappeared is the famed The Show-Off Must Go On, by Stephanie. This is because it has shut down permanently. Cue sadness. Exit Steph, stage left.

I have found my (il)legal copy of European Air War, my fave computer game ever! So if I tell you I took up a Spitty and ran into some Gerries, and managed to knock down a few crates before the Hun in the Sun pranged my kite (it was a wizard show!), I've not gone mad. It just means I've gotten too immersed in the game. Or I've just watched Battle of Britain for the 72nd time. "You could teach...monkeys to fly better than that!"

The gigantic supermug that EmO gave me for my birthday is getting much usage at present.

This is a Hawker Hurricane.

Powered by a 1,280hp Rolls-Royce Merlin V-12 piston engine, covered with fabric so it could be very quickly repaired, armed with eight Browning 0.303in machine guns and capable of a top speed of 342mph, it was this plane that swatted Luftwaffe bombers out of the sky over Britain in 1940 and saved the UK from invasion during the Battle of Britain. Respect it.

Tally-ho!

Let's celebrate being uncoordinated!

Okay, yesterday was BodieUncoDay. It was also a reasonably okay day, if not for the unconess of it all. Let's see...
I got to uni at the dreaded hour of 9am, because Kelly was handing up an essay and it would not be nice for her to be alone without any company for several hours. Walking past Hughes Plaza, I spied KraukusTom, Emt, Stevo, Matt and Tim. So I began walking down the stairs...only to slip on the stupidly slippery paint they have on the edge of each step to make sure you don't trip up the stairs. Result: me lying halfway down the stairs, not wishing to get up, as KraukusTom was having a grand time paying me out...
Having shamed myself, we thusly went to the Bookshop Cafe to meet Kelly. Thereafter, Tom took us to the Med School basement, where we played a sad immitation of pool. It was at this point that Kelly decided to go shopping with Emma, thus entirely voiding the reason for me being at uni in the first place. Kel said, "we'll be back soon!", so I suggested she and Em meet me up in Rumours. Matt went to the Music School to talk about an improv jazz idea he's had, so I went up to Rumours, getting there at 10:15...and remaining alone until about 11:40, when Monkey and, soon after, Simon, happened to chance by. Janelle appeared just before 12, and I pondered Kelly's definition of "soon" as we then went down to the UniBar. We were soon joined by Jacob, Dangerous Tom, Patrick, Zane and Denley. Jacob and I went hunting. Then Stevo appeared, and most went to play soccer. Tom, Denley and I, however, went to town to find EmO a present for her 19th party, which was that very night. After an hour or so, we then returned to the bar.
At some point in time, Courtney and Co. appeared, and I meandered over to say hello. I didn't buy my standard fare of Coke, as by this stage I was incredibly short of money. Janelle and I said goodbye to the bar at about 5:20, as Patrick was picking us up to go to soccer. UNCO THING #2 then occurred, though not directly involving me: a white van ran into the back of an Asian guy's hatchback, causing considerable damage. Tea-hehe. Except for the Asian guy, though. He called his Triad friends. We reckon the van driver has now been disembowelled by Brother Sum...

Soccer was a disaster. We lost for the third week in a row, to the tune of 10-5. In the interim, I perpetrated UNCO THING #3: I managed to get my leg stuck against the netting because an opposition player pushed me against it, and I stacked it. But yes, we were destroyed. Stevo then dropped me home so I could have a shower, and I discovered that the bruise on my leg extends up to my knee. NOT KOOL, as JAmes would say.

Stevo picked me up to go to EmO's sometime before 8, and we then went and picked up Matt, Denley and Tang. We got to EmO's, where the party girl was having a very difficult time tending to all of her guests, so I retreated outside, where Sheepy and Illmo were talking about much things of grave importance, such as transsexuals getting married and penile extensions through undone cumberbunds. We were then provided with dares by EmO's younger brother, via EmO's brand new Bachelorette Roulette game. They were as follows:
Bodie:

1. Perform a lap-dance for a girl. NOT COMPLETED.
2. Get a guy to tell his ultimate sexual fantasy. COMPLETED--I asked Illmo, who is more than willing to divulge anything sexual. It involves Sarah Michelle Geller and jelly...
3. Get a guy to show you his underwear. COMPLETED--I asked Sheepy. He was wearing his boxers on the outside of his pants, so it was pretty simple.
4. Chat with a cute guy. NOT COMPLETED--I pointed out that, as far as I'm concerned, there is no such thing as a cute guy. EmO's brother suggested EmO, so I told her that her brother thinks she is a cute guy. If this constitutes "chatting", then I actually succeeded.
   

Illmo:

1. Get a condom. NOT COMPLETED--He apparently carries vanilla-flavoured ones with him at all times, but forgot it last night. Quoth the man himself: "Lucky I won't be picking up tonight...lucky I'm ugly."
2. Demonstrate a fellatio technique on a bottle. COMPLETED--on a Pale Ale bottle, too.

Amelia:

1. Get up on a table and dance. NOT COMPLETED.

EmO's younger brother, whose name may be Simon but I can't remember:

1. Get spanked by a guy. NOT COMPLETED--and would have been quite disturbing.

Games of charades were played. Emt was a giraffe farmer. Stephanie said that one does not farm giraffes. I disagreed. In fact, my giraffe harvest this year has been phenomenal. They always ripen in the first month of Spring...

Prior to this, UNCO THING #4 happened. Jacob entered, and promptly danced a jig. He slipped over and landed on his back, but also managed to accidentally kick me in the groin in doing so. Delayed reaction meant that I stood there for a while, and talked to Jacob about his kicking me in the balls, before the pain set in and I had to sit down.
Soon after, UNCO THING #5 also occurred. I managed to put my foot through the veranda decking. Emma, I'm very very sorry!!!

We left at about 1:15 or thereabouts. By that time, I had managed to steal one of Tang's Strongbows. I got home at about 2, and promptly fell asleep, after a ham sandwich.

History essay today!

Good luck to Stephanie, who has an audition for a Fringe Festival play tomorrow!!!
Also, well done Kelly!!!

Finally: FIND COMMONALITY!

International Superblog!

Yes, I know I haven't updated in a millennium (well, since last Tuesday, anyway), but I've been snowed under in uni work.
But let's see...what's been happening...

Last Friday, we played soccer, as usual, but unfortunately we lost 7:5, which is not that good. Before this, though, many of us terrorised Toys R Us in town. Ron has some cool photos. We also visited the lolly shop and the markets, where I ate special cool mixed berry yoghurt. After soccer, Kel, Ron, Tom, Ali, JAmes, Denley and I went to town to randomly hang out. Tom was the source of much funniness that evening.
It started as we were walking down Rundle Mall. About four kids (I reckon about 13 or so, Tom reckons 16, but meh, I'll say kids anyway) were on bikes, and one of them, trying to impress his mates, decided to play chicken with Tom. He rode at him at full speed. Unfortunately for our fine feathered friend, who in actuality was not feathered but was still playing chicken, he did not realise that he was taking on the feared DANGEROUS TOM, otherwise Chief Danger of DangerMasons fame, who remained as unmoved as Mount Everest in a full-body plaster cast with the air let out of its tyres. The kid swerved at the last moment, evidently still thinking he was hardcore (or would he say "h to the cizzle" or some other nonsense? I shall ask Kelly...)...sadly for our friendly fool, he has no idea how to ride a bike, and consequently clipped the rear wheel of one of his friend's bike. The result was two of them on the pavement and Tom and Kel and I laughing hysterically, to his chagrin. Hehehehehe...

We convened at Rundle Street Subway to partake of food, and Tom again proved his dangerousness. He came back to the table with a cup full of Coke...somehow, unknown to us and contrary to all known natural laws of physics, the Coke promptly spontaneously exploded all over the table, the chairs, the floor and Kelly. Overindustrious Tom then tried to dry Kelly's pants by ramming napkins on to her thigh. Then he tended to his own pants, which were sodden with the sticky viscous liquid. The episode reminded Kelly and I of Simon's efforts to appear inconspicuous after spilling white, sticky garlic sauce on the bottom of his shirt. Tip to Simon: shuffling to the bathroom with a book held over your groin makes you look infinitely more sus. Believe me.
After this encounter, we moved to Hungry George on Hindley Street, where Ali ate a cheeseburger which was evidently unappetising. Kelly and Tom required the bathroom, though not at the same time, but both had shocking reviews to report back to us. Tom agreed to drop me home, which was nice.

Saturday was Brent's PokerNight, but I was unable to attend, so instead I stayed home, ate Hungry Jacks and watched the football while playing online poker and chatting with Courtney.
Sunday was my Philosophy essay day, and that's more or less done. Dodgy weekend, eh?

On Monday (I think), Jacob and I ExtremeHunted. We are now NUMBER 1 ON THE LEADER BOARD!!! The Elite Stages are crap. I was standing on a black bear in order to shoot it. Hmm...

On Tuesday I came to uni sillily early in order to help Kelly with her Politics essay. I didn't mind, as I hadn't slept all that much anyway, and thus was awake. On the way to uni, I was joined by Emt (of the little t fame), and she skipped German in order to breakfast with Kel and I and Germanise with me. We began Kel's essay at 9:15 and finished just before 1, which was a very awesome effort by Kel.

And now it is Wednesday. I had a great philosophical discussion over cappuccino and lemon meringue pie with SimonDes and Monkey today up in Rumours. My Politics essay has been up-handed, my Philosophy is due on Friday, German tomorrow, History next Wednesday or something. Franz Ferdinand, Green Day, Split Enz and Motor Ace are piping through my stereo, reminding me that I say you don't know in the house with unlocked doors and I see red because we weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeear American shooooooooooooooooooooes. Or words to that effect.

ALI'S PROFOUND THOUGHTS:
"I know now feels gayer than lycra."
"Bodo frodie sleep or die."
"I'm sending an airwave hug to fungpowkaput the evil karma that made your day ungood."

Speaking of karma, I must have the best in the world...I keep giving money to bloody Hare Krishnas!

This blog entry is dedicated to a few things/people. Firstly...

Supermarine Spitfires. The most beautiful aircraft even to take to the skies. To the pilot of this one: you lucky bastard...

Garfield. I love lasagne too. Although I like Mondays. Free pool and no actual uni...

Weird past-times. Which of course means Lotte Moonshine. Hey, Lotte!!

Green Day. Never have truer words been sung. These words being anything they've ever sung.

And finally, but most important and pre-eminent among everything...

The Famous (and very very very pretty) Courtney Jameson. Hehehe, peanut butter ice-cream!!!

Have a good one, all!!

KABOOM! KAPOW! SHAZAAM! KRAKABAM! ...beep?

Much has happened recently!
So here's the run-down!
And yes, this has lots of exclamation marks!

FRIDAY, 2 SEPTEMBER 2005: TateCrawl, 20th Celebration
Friday, conveniently the day after my birthday, was Tate's birthday. Happy birthday, Tate, as has been said before. In order to celebrate his turning 20, Tate organised a pub crawl, beginning at SuperHappyHour at the UniBar.
Before this began, however, there was much goodness! Courtney came to the UniBar and presented me with...um...a present. Actually, two of them: GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY POSTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERS! I'm sure you've heard much of these. Ahem. Well, after that, Courtney and I went to David Jones, where I bought Green Day's International Superhits! and Split Enz's ExtravagENZa, both of which are awesomely awesome albums (or "fantast", as Courtney might say...) Then, Courtney needed to get home, so we went to her bus stop, before I headed back to North Terrace. Unexpectedly, I found Caitlin on her way to sushi-eat, so I joined her, but not to eat sushi. We went back to the bar, with TateCrawl 2005 in full swing. Dangerous Tom and I doubled against Tate and Jenkins for a couple of games of pool, but were beaten soundly. We got to meet the famous "great man himself", Hubs, who's a pretty cool guy. I bought Tate a Becks. Someone else might have too. Anyhoo, sometime after 8, we left the bar and headed for the Exeter, the next watering hole on our TateCrawlMap, which did not exist.
As we got to the Exeter, we realised we had lost Ali and JAmes, who had gone to Hungry Jacks. Oh well, they caught up with us. I found that the Exeter has HEINEKEN ON TAP!!!!!!!!!! WOWSERS! Jenkins bought me a schooner of Heineken, and we hung around until Tate got a message from Emt (small t, Em!), so Dangerous Tom and I walked to North Terrace to collect her. We waited for a while, but that was okay, we chatted about much, including how cool nights are. Em materialised, so we walked to Shotz, the next port of call.
Shotz is a pool hall. It is pretty cool, in spite of the $3 cover charge. They had $1 schooners of Pale Ale! So Tate was constantly being plied with cheap beer, which led to his being intoxicated, and probably everyone else too. Grug unfortunately appeared, and later on, stuff happened with him, but I know the story not. Kel and I went to the bar, where Kel realised she couldn't afford the beer she wanted, so I payed for that.
Woolfie and Rowan appeared, and Woolfie told us a sad and sordid tale of how his personal space was invaded by ManWoman. You see...
Woolfie was sitting down in the bar, when ManWoman sidled up to him, grabbed and squeezed both of his thigh, and whispered to him! Woolfie says he took a shower immediately after. Suffice to say, he began drowning his sorrows.
Amelia decided just after midnight that she wanted to go home, so we bade goodbye to Tate. Tate hugged me and told me to "enjoy Germany, enjoy being German, and enjoy that fucking excellent German beer." Emt drove Dangerous Tom, Ali, Mia and I home, before returning for Kel. I slept quite soundly that night.

SATURDAY, 3 SEPTEMBER 2005: BodieBash, 19th Celebration
The day after Tate's, I had my 19th birthday party. What I got from people is well-documented. What happened is not. Except on Cait's blog. Hehe...
Well, when people started turning up, suddenly all the lights in the house failed! Investigation later revealed that some wiring in the roof was screwed, and this also accounts for me writing this blog entry in the dark. But anyhoo, on the night our lighting was provided by strategically-placed lamps. I love lamp.
I got the zappy game, then Jacob was told about Woolfie/ManWoman. He proceeded to use the zappy game to purge his mind of awful images.
Lotte came to mine, which was the first time anyone bar myself (of course) and Emt had met her. She says that everyone is awesome. I agree.
Much drinking was done, and poker was abandoned so that Jacob could be pelted with airborne poker chips, some of which went missing. In the interim, Denley supplied me with HEINEKEN!!!! and I was muchly pleased, and proceeded to drink therefrom.
Caitlin brought vodka jelly-shots with her, and they proved a hit. I still have two of her shot-glasses, which were hidden in odd positions around the house.
The night was long, and when the last people (Dangerous Tom and Ali) left, it was 4:30am and there were many many bottles and pizza boxes piled on the sink. I went to bed, but only got 40 minutes of sleep. I am still recovering.

So ended the awesome weekend of party celebrations and alcohol.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO PHIL FOR YESTERDAY, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO EMO FOR TODAY!

...or shut up and be a victim of authority

There will be an update of the PartyWeekend soon! This will involve:

1. The Friday TateCrawl: UniBar, The Exeter, Shotz, much beer, cheap schooners, Hubs, Woolfie/ManWoman liaison and more...
2. The Saturday BodieBash: The BodieCottage, lack of lighting, electro-shock therapy, Heineken, flying poker chips, vodka jelly-shots, next-to-zero sleep &c...

In the meantime, here's some classic Green Day to tide you over...

Waiting
GREEN DAY
I’ve been waiting a long time
For this moment to come
I’m destined
For anything…at all
Downtown lights will be shining
On me like a new diamond
Ring out under the midnight hour
No one can touch me now
And I can’t turn my back
It’s too late ready or not at all

I’m so much closer than
I have ever known…
Wake up

Dawning of a new era
Calling…don’t let it catch you falling
Ready or not at all
So close enough to taste it
Almost…I can embrace this
Feeling…on the tip of my tongue

I’m so much closer than
I have ever known…
Wake up
Better thank your lucky stars…

I’ve been waiting a lifetime
For this moment to come
I’m destined for anything at all...

Dumbstruck
Colour me stupid
Good luck
You’re gonna need it
Where I’m going if I get there…
At all…

Wake up
Better thank your lucky stars…

Sleep?

Last night was my 19th birthday party, and in order to show off, I'm going to show you stuff people got me!
Hehehehe...

Patrick got me...

Once upon a time, this was a Commander William T. Riker action figure. BUT, if you've read my Star Trek: Mariner fanfic, you would know of Captain Simon Anthony. So Paddy found Will Riker and relabeled him, even going so far as to put a biography on the back of the box. So finally, Mariner has merchandise! Thanks, Pat!

EmO got me...

Okay, I now have a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuge coffee mug..."I need caffeine" indeed...how true. I also have a coaster, which provides some very good advice..."Never poke mad people with a pointy stick". Thank you, Em, for saving my life doubly, with a caffeine-holder and something to put it on! =)

Ron, Raf, Jacobob and Kadds got me...

It's a zappy game that shocks you to the core! We've already found good uses for it...Phil uses it as his training tool for the Special Forces, Jacob used it to purge the images of Woolfie and ManWoman from his mind, and I suppose we could use it to restart my heart if I ever collapsed and died. Seriously, much much fun, especially when you're not the zapped one.

Denley got me...

I've gotta hand it to Denley. Considering I'm not much of a beer drinker, he bought me a six-pack of Heineken, which just so happens to be my very favourite beer on the planet so far! I still have some left, too! Cheers, Denley. The Dutch may be weird, but their beer really hits the spot.

Juan got me...

While Denley decided on getting very nice imported beer for me, Juan instead went with a six-pack of the old South Australian favourite, Coopers Pale, thereby throwing his support behind Dr. Tim and the rest of the Coopers family. And a good drop it is too! Cheers to you too, Juan!

EmT and Kelly got me...

It is very difficult to buy a book for someone and know with certainty that they'll like it. But Kel and Em got it spot on! Ambrose is one of my favourite WWII authors, and D-Day is a very interesting topic. This is now my book to read now. Emma and Kelly, you two know how to pick them! Thanks so much!

Courtney got me...

Yes, I know you've already seen them. But, GREEN DAY POSTERS! WHOAMG! Thanks ever so much, Courtney!

And everyone else...
There are lots of other people who came to my party, still others who didn't, but for the people who came, THANKS HEAPS for coming, I really enjoyed the night and I hope you did too! And to people who didn't come, THANKS A LOT for the birthday messages!

Warning: Live without warning

Sadly, Courtney is most likely not coming tonight. How sad. =(
However, owing to her giving me FREAKING AWESOME Green Day posters for my birthday, here's some photos of them, Courtney! Didn't want you to think I was ungrateful, did I? Hehe

This one's my favourite of the two...it's taken pride of place over the door to my room.

See?

And there's the other, on my FullWall...FullWall because there's lots and lots and lots of stuff on it...

Thank you huge amounts, Courtney! See you soon, hopefully!!

Mashed, roasted, boiled

HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY to Tate!

Last night we went TateCrawling, which was fun. I will write more after tonight, which is my 19th Party. YAY!

Have a good one!

19
19
19
19
19
Yep, that's right. Nineteen. Right. Now.
*cue dancers*

Shazaam! It's a toaster!

Someone on my tagboard by the name of "Yo mumma" (hilarious, I know) believes that I can't possibly write anything valuable.
This post is to disprove that.
...are you ready?

$3,000,012!

That is all.