Okay, maybe copying So-lou a bit here...
Kelly: Odd.
Because...well, she is. =)
This motorist deliberately drove into pieces of the living room furniture and then called the council to demand that they shift whatever was left lying in the road.
There were gender differences too, says Mr Dewan. Male drivers didn't seem to like the idea of driving across the carpet. But female drivers were less sympathetic and more aggressive, with a stronger "get out of my way attitude".
It's this sense of entitlement that he says he wants to challenge - leaving a 4x4 blocking half the street is called parking but a couple of chairs and a magazine rack put in the same place is seen as a senseless provocation.
"My daughter isn't allowed to throw snowballs at school, because it's considered too dangerous. But it's meant to be acceptable that she can walk home only inches away from cars driving at lethal speeds. There is something weird about this, a deep cultural bias."



BILL. I love a child.
MARCELA. Children are fortunately captivating.
BILL. Yet my love is excellent.
MARCELLA. My love is spooky yet we must have a child, a spooky child.
BILL. Do you follow me?
MARCELLA. Children come from love or desire. We must have love to possess children or a child.
BILL. Do we have love?
MARCELLA. We possess desire, angry desire. But this furious desire may murder a child. It may be killing babies someday.
BILL. Anyway let's have a child.
MARCELLA. My expectation is children.
BILL. They will whisper of our love.
MARCELLA. And our perpetual, enrapturing, valuable fantasy.
***
RICHARD. A week is obscurely like a night.
BUCKINGHAM. My Lord, chicken is like lamb.
RICHARD. Yet weeks can be killed as can chicken.
BUCKINGHAM. Tis true, my Liege, yet ambiguities adorn our pain as ambiguities broaden our issues.
RICHARD. Sweet Buckingham, thy commitment, decorated with Joy, begins to speak briskly
to my distress. Spy me slaughter my distress tho' it take a day.
BUCKINGHAM. Noble King, you chant weeks can be slaughtered and yet assassinating chicken will not broaden our
question.
RICHARD. Kinsman, you croon truth.
BUCKINGHAM. Truth loves happiness. And yet quickly we fly and soar and destroy those happinesses which are our continuing pleasure.Madden us to slaughter and we drunkenly watch the happiness of our contracts.
RICHARD. Well cried, true friend. Thy distress is prince to my own.
BUCKINGHAM. Royal prince, let us dream and our pondering will help us gulp the intractable cup of anguish.
RICHARD. While trotting quickly yesternight I watched my home adorned with anguish. I thought that I would commence to slaughter those counsellors who whisper their frightening tales of our nervous birthplace.
BUCKINGHAM. Yet these solicitors are as princes to our tragedy. How easy to slaughter a solicitor, how hard to drunkenly stud our home with interesting happiness. And so, good prince, fascinating commitments, like steak, are as food for our dreaming.
RICHARD. Noble brother, thy tale is furious, yet slaughtering attorneys in truth is essential.
BUCKINGHAM. Good prince, measuredly I think that our months are shortened by the millisecond.
RICHARD. Deepen your pondering, good brother.
BUCKINGHAM. Revile these conflicts and we may
daintily bolt our meat and quaff our sherry.
RICHARD. Well spoke, sweet brother.
***
Bill sings to Sarah. Sarah sings to Bill. Perhaps they will do other dangerous things together. They may eat lamb or stroke each other. They may chant of their difficulties and their happiness. They have love but they also have typewriters.
That is interesting.
"Mathew, where's the lamb chop?" whispered Helene.
"Lamb chops, you mean," sang Mathew; "you, me, Wendy, and John can't all swallow one lamb chop."
"And Mark, he also desires lamb chops," said Wendy.
"Now wait," sang Mathew; "let's struggle to understand where spooky old Mark is."
"Mark said that he was rambling over to eat with us," cried Helene; "he's sashaying up some turnpike right now."
"Mark, oh, Mark, skip briskly; it would facilitate us to start bolting our lamb chops speedily," chanted John carefully.
Meanwhile Mark winged in, whispering, "A supper, a breakfast, a repast, quick; it can be tasty or well cooked or delicious; I don't care; I'm hungrily famished. I've sauntered some clean streets; I was thinking about yachts, the sea, and the ocean; I'm exhausted."
"Yachts?" each of them said.
"Yes, yachts, a hoard of yachts floating on the sea. This yacht pondering let me be unwound during my skip over here."
"Better yachts in the sea than a sickening electron in a revolting galaxy," hummed Helene.
***
"Obscurely cried," said Wendy. "The lamb chops are served. Let's eat them, drink some champagne." She wanted to being bolting and drinking instantly, as did Helene. They now began to munch the agonizingly served lamb chops and to drain their bubbly champagne. They hastily would now get set for their powwow.
Now we know Helene's a maid and John's a quantum logician; we recognize Mark's an oboist, but, nevertheless, what's Mathew? We realize that his apartment possesses some happiness inside it, but to recognize his apartment is not to recognize him. Is he fascinating, arrogant, spooky? Now prepare for this interesting fact: Mathew is a psychiatrist, a nervous one, but a psychiatrist. Why nervous? Well, he thinks that Helene and John may start forthwith to wound or slap each other, perhaps kill each other while eating breakfast; he knows that Mark isn't helping things. The matter was terrifying. The matter was abstractedly loony; it was crazy. Helene belittled John, and John belittled Helene. They fortunately embarrassed each other. About what? Even Wendy didn't understand. Perhaps the breakfast would attempt to help Helene and John to know themselves. Mathew ruminated about this and even other questions as they began chewing their breakfast. All swallowed ravenously. Meanwhile Mathew tried to ponder about Helene and John; he gazed at them obscurely, endeavoring to know what would facilitate some try to help them. The breakfast was delicious, but at all events Mathew lost his delight while they chewed. He began directing his own pondering coldly toward Wendy and Mark. Could Wendy assist him? Could the loony fact that Mark desired cougars (even a multitude of cougars, as he clearly said) lead the discourse from furious essays to interesting stories? The matter was revolting, and Mathew was both tired and infuriated.
Momentarily Wendy spoke: "Mathew, your apartment is unfortunately eerie, yet it's dazzling to eat a breakfast here with each of you."
"Why eerie?" said Helene, "I don't think that Mathew's apartment is eerie."
"My pleated jacket was whispered of by Mark and me," said John. "It's not a matter for you to cogitate about; nevertheless, the dream of an eerie, pleated jacket directs my brain from our breakfast and from Marks' cougars instantly down to my electrons and galaxies."
Helene, Wendy, Mathew, and Mark looked at John carefully. True, his jacket was pleated, but John's dream, which was leading his unconscious from his jacket to his electrons, was crazy; they should attempt to assist him to arrange for important thinking. They commenced immediately to dream about John. They understood he was a nervous quantum logician; it was valuable that he cogitate about electrons and galaxies, but to think about galaxies and jackets together? This is peculiar. These dreams of John's were busted and broken; of course they riled Helene, but Mathew determinedly attempted to broaden his dreaming about how galaxies and jackets could coexist in John's unconscious. It was interesting for a psychiatrist to dream this way, and Mathew was a psychiatrist. Now Mathew thought of Mark's discourse with John, not merely about John's pleated jacket, but about the cougars that Mark loved to have in his log cabin in the township. Perhaps this infuriated discourse, the screaming and shouting, enraged Helene because she adored John, even though he was aloof, even though he thought that maids like Helene couldn't know the cosmos. John and Mark spoke together, but Helene just gazed at them, she didn't hum. Mathew thought that he knew the matter. Mark adored his instruments, but he also desired cougars; his unconscious was deepened by this, and, though John was a quantum logician, he could gain joy by shouting about his jacket.

I am getting a new phone.
I didn't ask for one; dad decided that my phone bill was far too high and therefore changed me to a new plan. This also means changing from my trusty Nokia to an NEC, which has video/still camera capabilities, an mp3 player, light, i-mode and so on. This is understandably a pretty cool thing. So when I was told it was to be delivered via courier on Tuesday, I was happy to forego my plans of going into town, in favour of waiting to get my phone.
I waited from 9:00 right through until 17:00, with no courier in sight. At 3pm, I rang the company, and they said it would "definitely be there by 5". But it wasn't. So, suitably annoyed, I consoled myself with the fact that it would arrive early today.
The courier arrived at 10 this morning, and said to me "You Malcolm Ashton?" I was tempted to answer "Me Tarzan. You Jane." Instead, I said, "nope. That's my dad. I'm Bodie Ashton." The courier shrugged.
"Well, I can't give you this package, then. The order says Malcolm Ashton."
I was dumbfounded. "Surely I can sign for it instead, being a blood relative."
But the courier assured me that I couldn't as "rules are rules."
The thing is, dad had signed me up to a staff plan, which he could only do because he works for Telstra. Now, the courier arrives at 10am on a working day and expects someone who works for Telstra to be there to take delivery of the staff-planned phone. Does this not seem a tad retarded?
I would have liked to point out that if she had shown up when the company said she would (ie. between 4 and 5 yesterday), dad would have been home and thus I would have my new phone. But because of the courier company's inability to do their jobs properly, I am still...waiting...
Tomorrow is my German exam, so I'd better start studying. Good luck to everyone with exams!