The death of the Sunday night movie, and other cliches

Tonight there is a movie on Channel Seven, by the name of Final Approach. No, not destination. Approach. It "stars" Dean Cain, and you can really see why he never became anything after Lois & Clark. He is the duddiest dud in a movie that plumbs the depths of duddiness. Basically, it adheres to a whole heap of film cliches, plus really bad SFX. In short:

• Random terrorists hijack a plane. One of the passengers just happens to be the most respected FBI hostage negotiator in the history of the universe.
• Said FBI passenger worked, respected and beloved, until one mistake many years ago led to the deaths of several hostages; as a result, his reputation has been forever tarnished.
• Hijackers say they have a dirty bomb on board, and will detonate it over Los Angeles.
• Somehow, against all odds, the FBI passenger defeats the hijackers.
• The good guys take control of the plane just a few seconds before the Air Force would receive orders to shoot it down.
• As luck would have it, the pilot has been killed and the copilot knocked unconscious, leaving the plane in the hands of a man who has never flown anything before, but must land the aircraft safely anyway, with the help of air traffic controllers.

Excuse me for being a cynic, but isn't this the plot for just about every hijack movie ever made? In fact, to save time, the pilot should carry a gun on board, so that, the moment there is a whiff of hijacking in the air, he can club the copilot over the head, and shoot himself, thereby saving the terrorists the trouble of doing it themselves. Also, I believe they could simplify the unbelievable bits about the Member of the Public who becomes a pilot, and specifically his communications with Air Traffic Control:
Plane: Um, hi. The pilot of my plane is dead and I have to somehow land this 400 tonne jumbo jet at the nearest high-density airport, without dropping it on to the populous city below. You gotta help me!
Air Traffic Control: Okay pal, take it easy, we'll make this real simple. Now, first thing's first...have you ever played Microsoft Flight Simulator?
This would also make the possibility of crashing much easier to deal with.
Plane: So, what happens if I look like I'm about to hit a building?
ATC: Simple. Just press 'Y', and then hold down 'F4' until you're high enough...

But really, there are a whole heap of cliches in the movie world, and soon, all movies become formulaic. These include:

• in the army, all officers are idiots/cowards/nancy boys/all of the above, and it's only because of their second-in-command, a hard-bitten and battle-scarred sergeant who has seen it all, that everyone gets through it alive;
• also in the army, there is always a soldier named Kowalski, and any military action ever undertaken was undertaken solely by Americans - even in the ancient Greek wars;
• the poor street kids who are more likely to end up in gaol will always come good, thanks to some superfantastic teacher who miraculously appears and somehow wins their respect and gratitude;
• any racial tension, riots and massacres in any town or country can be overcome by sporting success;
• the protagonist in any romantic comedy always has one or two token gay friends for moments when entertainment is needed;
• the guy with the British accent is suave and beloved by all, but is actually the bad guy.

In other news, MOTION CITY SOUNDTRACK! ZOMG!

Back with their third studio album, the boys from Minneapolis have come out with a quality record yet again. Even if it Kills Me is a marvelous fusion of their first two albums, I am the Movie and Commit This to Memory, with some innovative new experiments in melody and lyrics that work perfectly. The moog is back, the guitar is back, Justin Pierre's hair is back. Everything impresses.
Songs of the album: at the moment, Calling All Cops and Hello Helicopter.
Rating: Twenty million. Out of five.

The Star Trek: Mariner site is in production, and the novel, The Omega Paradox, is still being written. Yes, I know my original deadline was for March 2007, then September 2007, but it's looking more and more like May next year, if then. But it's shaping up nicely. As for the site, it is unbelievably excellent, thanks to the web design genius that is Courtney M. Jameson. Thank you so much, CourtneyBerry, and to everyone else, you'll soon see why I'm so excited about this.

Finally, if anyone needs to buy a computer or other home office things from David Jones around Christmas, come visit me, eh?